CHAPTER IV
You have heard, I dare say, of the hunter and sportsman's saint and
protector, St. Hubert, and of the noble stag, which appeared to him in
the forest, with the holy cross between his antlers. I have paid my
homage to that saint every year in good fellowship, and seen this stag
a thousand times, either painted in churches, or embroidered in the
stars of his knights; so that, upon the honour and conscience of a
good sportsman, I hardly know whether there may not have been
formerly, or whether there are not such crossed stags even at this
present day. But let me rather tell what I have seen myself. Having
one day spent all my shot, I found myself unexpectedly in presence of
a stately stag, looking at me as unconcernedly as if he had known of
my empty pouches. I charged immediately with powder, and upon it a
good handful of cherry-stones, for I had sucked the fruit as far as
the hurry would permit. Thus I let fly at him, and hit him just on the
middle of the forehead, between his antlers; it stunned him--he
staggered--yet he made off. A year or two after, being with a party in
the same forest, I beheld a noble stag with a fine full grown cherry-
tree above ten feet high between his antlers. I immediately
recollected my former adventure, looked upon him as my property, and
brought him to the ground by one shot, which at once gave me the
haunch and cherry-sauce; for the tree was covered with the richest
fruit, the like I had never tasted before. Who knows but some
passionate holy sportsman, or sporting abbot or bishop, may have shot,
planted, and fixed the cross between the antlers of St. Hubert's stag,
in a manner similar to this? They always have been, and still are,
famous for plantations of crosses and antlers; and in a case of
distress or dilemma, which too often happens to keen sportsmen, one is
apt to grasp at anything for safety, and to try any expedient rather
than miss the favourable opportunity. I have many times found myself
in that trying situation.
What do you say of this, for example? Daylight and powder were spent
one day in a Polish forest. When I was going home a terrible bear made
up to me in great speed, with open mouth, ready to fall upon me; all
my pockets were searched in an instant for powder and ball, but in
vain; I found nothing but two spare flints: one I flung with all my
might into the monster's open jaws, down his throat. It gave him pain
and made him turn about, so that I could level the second at his back-
door, which, indeed, I did with wonderful success; for it flew in, met
the first flint in the stomach, struck fire, and blew up the bear with
a terrible explosion. Though I came safe off that time, yet I should
not wish to try it again, or venture against bears with no other
ammunition.
There is a kind of fatality in it. The fiercest and most dangerous
animals generally came upon me when defenceless, as if they had a
notion or an instinctive intimation of it. Thus a frightful wolf
rushed upon me so suddenly, and so close, that I could do nothing but
follow mechanical instinct, and thrust my fist into his open mouth.
For safety's sake I pushed on and on, till my arm was fairly in up to
the shoulder. How should I disengage myself? I was not much pleased
with my awkward situation--with a wolf face to face; our ogling was
not of the most pleasant kind. If I withdrew my arm, then the animal
would fly the more furiously upon me; that I saw in his flaming eyes.
In short, I laid hold of his tail, turned him inside out like a glove,
and flung him to the ground, where I left him.
The same expedient would not have answered against a mad dog, which
soon after came running against me in a narrow street at St.
Petersburg. Run who can, I thought; and to do this the better, I threw
off my fur cloak, and was safe within doors in an instant. I sent my
servant for the cloak, and he put it in the wardrobe with my other
clothes. The day after I was amazed and frightened by Jack's bawling,
"For God's sake, sir, your fur cloak is mad!" I hastened up to him,
and found almost all my clothes tossed about and torn to pieces. The
fellow was perfectly right in his apprehensions about the fur cloak's
madness. I saw him myself just then falling upon a fine full-dress
suit, which he shook and tossed in an unmerciful manner.
