CHAPTER XX
Mr. Drybones' "Travels to Sicily," which I had read with great
pleasure, induced me to pay a visit to Mount Etna; my voyage to this
place was not attended with any circumstances worth relating. One
morning early, three or four days after my arrival, I set out from a
cottage where I had slept, within six miles of the foot of the
mountain, determined to explore the internal parts, if I perished in
the attempt. After three hours' hard labour I found myself at the top;
it was then, and had been for upwards of three weeks, raging: its
appearance in this state has been so frequently noticed by different
travellers, that I will not tire you with descriptions of objects you
are already acquainted with. I walked round the edge of the crater,
which appeared to be fifty times at least as capacious as the Devil's
Punch-Bowl near Petersfield, on the Portsmouth Road, but not so broad
at the bottom, as in that part it resembles the contracted part of a
funnel more than a punch-bowl. At last, having made up my mind, in I
sprang feet foremost; I soon found myself in a warm berth, and my body
bruised and burnt in various parts by the red-hot cinders, which, by
their violent ascent, opposed my descent: however, my weight soon
brought me to the bottom, where I found myself in the midst of noise
and clamour, mixed with the most horrid imprecations; after recovering
my senses, and feeling a reduction of my pain, I began to look about
me. Guess, gentlemen, my astonishment, when I found myself in the
company of Vulcan and his Cyclops, who had been quarrelling, for the
three weeks before mentioned, about the observation of good order and
due subordination, and which had occasioned such alarms for that space
of time in the world above. However, my arrival restored peace to the
whole society, and Vulcan himself did me the honour of applying
plasters to my wounds, which healed them immediately; he also placed
refreshments before me, particularly nectar, and other rich wines,
such as the gods and goddesses only aspire to. After this repast was
over Vulcan ordered Venus to show me every indulgence which my
situation required. To describe the apartment, and the couch on which
I reposed, is totally impossible, therefore I will not attempt it; let
it suffice to say, it exceeds the power of language to do it justice,
or speak of that kind-hearted goddess in any terms equal to her merit.
Vulcan gave me a very concise account of Mount Etna: he said it was
nothing more than an accumulation of ashes thrown from his forge; that
he was frequently obliged to chastise his people, at whom, in his
passion, he made it a practice to throw red-hot coals at home, which
they often parried with great dexterity, and then threw them up into
the world to place them out of his reach, for they never attempted to
assault him in return by throwing them back again. "Our quarrels,"
added he, "last sometimes three or four months, and these appearances
of coals or cinders in the world are what I find you mortals call
eruptions." Mount Vesuvius, he assured me, was another of his shops,
to which he had a passage three hundred and fifty leagues under the
bed of the sea, where similar quarrels produced similar eruptions. I
should have continued here as an humble attendant upon Madam Venus,
but some busy tattlers, who delight in mischief, whispered a tale in
Vulcan's ear, which roused in him a fit of jealousy not to be
appeased. Without the least previous notice he took me one morning
under his arm, as I was waiting upon Venus, agreeable to custom, and
carried me to an apartment I had never before seen, in which there
was, to all appearance, /a well/ with a wide mouth: over this he held
me at arm's length, and saying, "/Ungrateful mortal, return to the
world from whence you came/," without giving me the least opportunity
of reply, dropped me in the centre. I found myself descending with an
increasing rapidity, till the horror of my mind deprived me of all
reflection. I suppose I fell into a trance, from which I was suddenly
aroused by plunging into a large body of water illuminated by the rays
of the sun!!
I could, from my infancy, swim well, and play tricks in the water. I
now found myself in paradise, considering the horrors of mind I had
just been released from. After looking about me some time, I could
discover nothing but an expanse of sea, extending beyond the eye in
every direction; I also found it very cold, a different climate from
Master Vulcan's shop. At last I observed at some distance a body of
amazing magnitude, like a huge rock, approaching me; I soon discovered
it to be a piece of floating ice; I swam round it till I found a place
where I could ascend to the top, which I did, but not without some
difficulty. Still I was out of sight of land, and despair returned
with double force; however, before night came on I saw a sail, which
we approached very fast; when it was within a very small distance I
hailed them in German; they answered in Dutch. I then flung myself
into the sea, and they threw out a rope, by which I was taken on
board. I now inquired where we were, and was informed, in the great
Southern Ocean; this opened a discovery which removed all my doubts
and difficulties. It was now evident that I had passed from Mount Etna
through the centre of the earth to the South Seas: this, gentlemen,
was a much shorter cut than going round the world, and which no man
has accomplished, or ever attempted, but myself; however, the next
time I perform it I will be much more particular in my observations.
I took some refreshment, and went to rest. The Dutch are a very rude
sort of people; I related the Etna passage to the officers, exactly as
I have done to you, and some of them, particularly the Captain, seemed
by his grimace and half-sentence to doubt my veracity; however, as he
had kindly taken me on board his vessel, and was then in the very act
of administering to my necessities, I pocketed the affront.
I now in my turn began to inquire where they were bound? To which they
answered, they were in search of new discoveries; "/and if/," said
they, "/your story is true, a new passage is really discovered, and we
shall not return disappointed/." We were now exactly in Captain Cook's
first track, and arrived the next morning in Botany Bay. This place I
would by no means recommend to the English government as a receptacle
for felons, or place of punishment; it should rather be the reward of
merit, nature having most bountifully bestowed her best gifts upon it.
We stayed here but three days; the fourth after our departure a most
dreadful storm arose, which in a few hours destroyed all our sails,
splintered our bowsprit, and brought down our topmast; it fell
directly upon the box that enclosed our compass, which, with the
compass, was broken to pieces. Every one who has been at sea knows the
consequences of such a misfortune: we now were at a loss where to
steer. At length the storm abated, which was followed by a steady,
brisk gale, that carried us at least forty knots an hour for six
months! [we should suppose the Baron has made a little mistake, and
substituted /months/ for /days/] when we began to observe an amazing
change in everything about us: our spirits became light, our noses
were regaled with the most aromatic effluvia imaginable: the sea had
also changed its complexion, and from green became white!! Soon after
these wonderful alterations we saw land, and not at any great distance
an inlet, which we sailed up near sixty leagues, and found it wide and
deep, flowing with milk of the most delicious taste. Here we landed,
and soon found it was an island consisting of one large cheese: we
discovered this by one of the company fainting away as soon as we
landed: this man always had an aversion to cheese; when he recovered,
he desired the cheese to be taken from under his feet: upon
examination we found him perfectly right, for the whole island, as
before observed, was nothing but a cheese of immense magnitude! Upon
this the inhabitants, who are amazingly numerous, principally sustain
themselves, and it grows every night in proportion as it is consumed
in the day. Here seemed to be plenty of vines, with bunches of large
grapes, which, upon being pressed, yielded nothing but milk. We saw
the inhabitants running races upon the surface of the milk: they were
upright, comely figures, nine feet high, have three legs, and but one
arm; upon the whole, their form was graceful, and when they quarrel,
they exercise a straight horn, which grows in adults from the centre
of their foreheads, with great adroitness; they did not sink at all,
but ran and walked upon the surface of the milk, as we do upon a
bowling-green.
Upon this island of cheese grows great plenty of corn, the ears of
which produce loaves of bread, ready made, of a round form like
mushrooms. We discovered, in our rambles over this cheese, seventeen
other rivers of milk, and ten of wine.
After thirty-eight days' journey we arrived on the opposite side to
that on which we landed: here we found some blue mould, as cheese-
eaters call it, from whence spring all kinds of rich fruit; instead of
breeding mites it produced peaches, nectarines, apricots, and a
thousand delicious fruits which we are not acquainted with. In these
trees, which are of an amazing size, were plenty of birds' nests;
amongst others was a king-fisher's of prodigious magnitude; it was at
least twice the circumference of the dome of St. Paul's Church in
London. Upon inspection, this nest was made of huge trees curiously
joined together; there were, let me see (/for I make it a rule always
to speak within compass/), there were upwards of five hundred eggs in
the nest, and each of them was as large as four common hogsheads, or
eight barrels, and we could not only see, but hear the young ones
chirping within. Having, with great fatigue, cut open one of these
eggs, we let out a young one unfeathered, considerably larger than
twenty full-grown vultures. Just as we had given this youngster his
liberty the old kingfisher lighted, and seizing our captain, who had
been active in breaking the egg, in one of her claws, flew with him
above a mile high, and then let him drop into the sea, but not till
she had beaten all his teeth out of his mouth with her wings.
Dutchmen generally swim well: he soon joined us, and we retreated to
our ship. On our return we took a different route, and observed many
strange objects. We shot two wild oxen, each with one horn, also like
the inhabitants, except that it sprouted from between the eyes of
these animals; we were afterwards concerned at having destroyed them,
as we found, by inquiry, they tamed these creatures, and used them as
we do horses, to ride upon and draw their carriages; their flesh, we
were informed, is excellent, but useless where people live upon cheese
and milk. When we had reached within two days' journey of the ship we
observed three men hanging to a tall tree by their heels; upon
inquiring the cause of their punishment, I found they had all been
travellers, and upon their return home had deceived their friends by
describing places they never saw, and relating things that never
happened: this gave me no concern, /as I have ever confined myself to
facts/.
As soon as we arrived at the ship we unmoored, and set sail from this
extraordinary country, when, to our astonishment, all the trees upon
shore, of which there were a great number very tall and large, paid
their respects to us twice, bowing to exact time, and immediately
recovered their former posture, which was quite erect.
By what we could learn of this CHEESE, it was considerably larger than
the continent of all Europe!
After sailing three months we knew not where, being still without
compass, we arrived in a sea which appeared to be almost black: upon
tasting it we found it most excellent wine, and had great difficulty
to keep the sailors from getting drunk with it: however, in a few
hours we found ourselves surrounded by whales and other animals of an
immense magnitude, one of which appeared to be too large for the eye
to form a judgment of: we did not see him till we were close to him.
This monster drew our ship, with all her masts standing, and sails
bent, by suction into his mouth, between his teeth, which were much
larger and taller than the mast of a first-rate man-of-war. After we
had been in his mouth some time he opened it pretty wide, took in an
immense quantity of water, and floated our vessel, which was at least
500 tons burthen, into his stomach; here we lay as quiet as at anchor
in a dead calm. The air, to be sure, was rather warm, and very
offensive. We found anchors, cables, boats, and barges in abundance,
and a considerable number of ships, some laden and some not, which
this creature had swallowed. Everything was transacted by torch-light;
no sun, no moon, no planet, to make observations from. We were all
generally afloat and aground twice a-day; whenever he drank, it became
high water with us; and when he evacuated, we found ourselves aground;
upon a moderate computation, he took in more water at a single draught
than is generally to be found in the Lake of Geneva, though that is
above thirty miles in circumference. On the second day of our
confinement in these regions of darkness, I ventured at low water, as
we called it when the ship was aground, to ramble with the Captain,
and a few of the other officers, with lights in our hands; we met with
people of all nations, to the amount of upwards of ten thousand; they
were going to hold a council how to recover their liberty; some of
them having lived in this animal's stomach several years; there were
several children here who had never seen the world, their mothers
having lain in repeatedly in this warm situation. Just as the chairman
was going to inform us of the business upon which we were assembled,
this plaguy fish, becoming thirsty, drank in his usual manner; the
water poured in with such impetuosity, that we were all obliged to
retreat to our respective ships immediately, or run the risk of being
drowned; some were obliged to swim for it, and with difficulty saved
their lives. In a few hours after we were more fortunate, we met again
just after the monster had evacuated. I was chosen chairman, and the
first thing I did was to propose splicing two main-masts together, and
the next time he opened his mouth to be ready to wedge them in, so as
to prevent his shutting it. It was unanimously approved. One hundred
stout men were chosen upon this service. We had scarcely got our masts
properly prepared when an opportunity offered; the monster opened his
mouth, immediately the top of the mast was placed against the roof,
and the other end pierced his tongue, which effectually prevented him
from shutting his mouth. As soon as everything in his stomach was
afloat, we manned a few boats, who rowed themselves and us into the
world. The daylight, after, as near as we could judge, three months'
confinement in total darkness, cheered our spirits surprisingly. When
we had all taken our leave of this capacious animal, we mustered just
a fleet of ninety-five ships, of all nations, who had been in this
confined situation.
We left the two masts in his mouth, to prevent others being confined
in the same horrid gulf of darkness and filth. Our first object was to
learn what part of the world we were in; this we were for some time at
a loss to ascertain: at last I found, from former observations, that
we were in the Caspian Sea! which washes part of the country of the
Calmuck Tartars. How we came here is was impossible to conceive, as
this sea has no communication with any other. One of the inhabitants
of the Cheese Island, whom I had brought with me, accounted for it
thus:--that the monster in whose stomach we had been so long confined
had carried us here through some subterraneous passage; however, we
pushed to shore, and I was the first who landed. Just as I put my foot
upon the ground a large bear leaped upon me with its fore-paws; I
caught one in each hand, and squeezed him till he cried out most
lustily; however, in this position I held him till I starved him to
death. You may laugh, gentlemen, but this was soon accomplished, as I
prevented him licking his paws. From hence I travelled up to St.
Petersburg a second time: here an old friend gave me a most excellent
pointer, descended from the famous bitch before-mentioned, that
littered while she was hunting a hare. I had the misfortune to have
him shot soon after by a blundering sportsman, who fired at him
instead of a covey of partridges which he had just set. Of this
creature's skin I have had this waistcoat made (showing his
waistcoat), which always leads me involuntarily to game if I walk in
the fields in the proper season, and when I come within shot, /one of
the buttons constantly flies off, and lodges upon the spot where the
sport is/; and as the birds rise, being always primed and cocked, I
never miss them. Here are now but three buttons left. I shall have a
new set sewed on against the shooting season commences.
When a covey of partridges is disturbed in this manner, by the button
falling amongst them, they always rise from the ground in a direct
line before each other. I one day, by forgetting to take my ramrod out
of my gun, shot it straight through a leash, as regularly as if the
cook had spitted them. I had forgot to put in any shot, and the rod
had been made so hot with the powder, that the birds were completely
roasted by the time I reached home.
Since my arrival in England I have accomplished what I had very much
at heart, viz., providing for the inhabitant of the Cheese Island,
whom I had brought with me. My old friend, Sir William Chambers, who
is entirely indebted to me for all his ideas of Chinese gardening, by
a description of which he has gained such high reputation; I say,
gentlemen, in a discourse which I had with this gentlemen, he seemed
much distressed for a contrivance to light the lamps at the new
buildings, Somerset House; the common mode with ladders, he observed,
was both dirty and inconvenient. My native of the Cheese Island popped
into my head; he was only nine feet high when I first brought him from
his own country, but was now increased to ten and a half: I introduced
him to Sir William, and he is appointed to that honourable office. He
is also to carry, under a large cloak, a utensil in each coat pocket,
instead of those four which Sir William has /very properly/ fixed for
private purposes in so conspicuous a situation, the great quadrangle.
He has also obtained from Mr. PITT the situation of messenger to his
Majesty's lords of the bed-chamber, whose principal employment will
/now/ be, divulging the secrets of the Royal household to their
/worthy/ Patron.
SUPPLEMENT
/Extraordinary flight on the back of an eagle, over France to
Gibraltar, South and North America, the Polar Regions, and back to
England, within six-and-thirty hours./
About the beginning of his present Majesty's reign I had some business
with a distant relation who then lived on the Isle of Thanet; it was a
family dispute, and not likely to be finished soon. I made it a
practice during my residence there, the weather being fine, to walk
out every morning. After a few of these excursions I observed an
object upon a great eminence about three miles distant: I extended my
walk to it, and found the ruins of an ancient temple: I approached it
with admiration and astonishment; the traces of grandeur and
magnificence which yet remained were evident proofs of its former
splendour: here I could not help lamenting the ravages and
devastations of time, of which that once noble structure exhibited
such a melancholy proof. I walked round it several times, meditating
on the fleeting and transitory nature of all terrestrial things; on
the eastern end were the remains of a lofty tower, near forty feet
high, overgrown with ivy, the top apparently flat; I surveyed it on
every side very minutely, thinking that if I could gain its summit I
should enjoy the most delightful prospect of the circumjacent country.
Animated with this hope, I resolved, if possible, to gain the summit,
which I at length effected by means of the ivy, though not without
great difficulty and danger; the top I found covered with this
evergreen, except a large chasm in the middle. After I had surveyed
with pleasing wonder the beauties of art and nature that conspired to
enrich the scene, curiosity prompted me to sound the opening in the
middle, in order to ascertain its depth, as I entertained a suspicion
that it might probably communicate with some unexplored subterranean
cavern in the hill; but having no line I was at a loss how to proceed.
After revolving the matter in my thoughts for some time, I resolved to
drop a stone down and listen to the echo: having found one that
answered my purpose I placed myself over the hole, with one foot on
each side, and stooping down to listen, I dropped the stone, which I
had no sooner done than I heard a rustling below, and suddenly a
monstrous eagle put up its head right opposite my face, and rising up
with irresistible force, carried me away seated on its shoulders: I
instantly grasped it round the neck, which was large enough to fill my
arms, and its wings, when extended, were ten yards from one extremity
to the other. As it rose with a regular ascent, my seat was perfectly
easy, and I enjoyed the prospect below with inexpressible pleasure. It
hovered over Margate for some time, was seen by several people, and
many shots were fired at it; one ball hit the heel of my shoe, but did
me no injury. It then directed its course to Dover cliff, where it
alighted, and I thought of dismounting, but was prevented by a sudden
discharge of musketry from a party of marines that were exercising on
the beach; the balls flew about my head, and rattled on the feathers
of the eagle like hail-stones, yet I could not perceive it had
received any injury. It instantly reascended and flew over the sea
towards Calais, but so very high that the Channel seemed to be no
broader than the Thames at London Bridge. In a quarter of an hour I
found myself over a thick wood in France, where the eagle descended
very rapidly, which caused me to slip down to the back part of its
head; but alighting on a large tree, and raising its head, I recovered
my seat as before, but saw no possibility of disengaging myself
without the danger of being killed by the fall; so I determined to sit
fast, thinking it would carry me to the Alps, or some other high
mountain, where I could dismount without any danger. After resting a
few minutes it took wing, flew several times round the wood, and
screamed loud enough to be heard across the English Channel. In a few
minutes one of the same species arose out of the wood, and flew
directly towards us; it surveyed me with evident marks of displeasure,
and came very near me. After flying several times round, they both
directed their course to the south-west. I soon observed that the one
I rode upon could not keep pace with the other, but inclined towards
the earth, on account of my weight; its companion perceiving this,
turned round and placed itself in such a position that the other could
rest its head on its rump; in this manner they proceeded till noon,
when I saw the rock of Gibraltar very distinctly. The day being clear,
notwithstanding my degree of elevation, the earth's surface appeared
just like a map, where land, sea, lakes, rivers, mountains, and the
like were perfectly distinguishable; and having some knowledge of
geography, I was at no loss to determine what part of the globe I was
in.
Whilst I was contemplating this wonderful prospect a dreadful howling
suddenly began all around me, and in a moment I was invested by
thousands of small, black, deformed, frightful looking creatures, who
pressed me on all sides in such a manner that I could neither move
hand or foot: but I had not been in their possession more than ten
minutes when I heard the most delightful music that can possibly be
imagined, which was suddenly changed into a noise the most awful and
tremendous, to which the report of cannon, or the loudest claps of
thunder could bear no more proportion than the gentle zephyrs of the
evening to the most dreadful hurricane; but the shortness of its
duration prevented all those fatal effects which a prolongation of it
would certainly have been attended with.
The music commenced, and I saw a great number of the most beautiful
little creatures seize the other party, and throw them with great
violence into something like a snuff-box, which they shut down, and
one threw it away with incredible velocity; then turning to me, he
said they whom he had secured were a party of devils, who had wandered
from their proper habitation; and that the vehicle in which they were
enclosed would fly with unabating rapidity for ten thousand years,
when it would burst of its own accord, and the devils would recover
their liberty and faculties, as at the present moment. He had no
sooner finished this relation than the music ceased, and they all
disappeared, leaving me in a state of mind bordering on the confines
of despair.
When I had recomposed myself a little, and looking before me with
inexpressible pleasure, I observed that the eagles were preparing to
light on the peak of Teneriffe: they descended on the top of the rock,
but seeing no possible means of escape if I dismounted determined me
to remain where I was. The eagles sat down seemingly fatigued, when
the heat of the sun soon caused them both to fall asleep, nor did I
long resist its fascinating power. In the cool of the evening, when
the sun had retired below the horizon, I was roused from sleep by the
eagle moving under me; and having stretched myself along its back, I
sat up, and reassumed my travelling position, when they both took
wing, and having placed themselves as before, directed their course to
South America. The moon shining bright during the whole night, I had a
fine view of all the islands in those seas.
About the break of day we reached the great continent of America, that
part called Terra Firma, and descended on the top of a very high
mountain. At this time the moon, far distant in the west, and obscured
by dark clouds, but just afforded light sufficient for me to discover
a kind of shrubbery all around, bearing fruit something like cabbages,
which the eagles began to feed on very eagerly. I endeavoured to
discover my situation, but fogs and passing clouds involved me in the
thickest darkness, and what rendered the scene still more shocking was
the tremendous howling of wild beasts, some of which appeared to be
very near: however, I determined to keep my seat, imagining that the
eagle would carry me away if any of them should make a hostile
attempt. When daylight began to appear, I thought of examining the
fruit which I had seen the eagles eat, and as some was hanging which I
could easily come at, I took out my knife and cut a slice; but how
great was my surprise to see that it had all the appearance of roast
beef regularly mixed, both fat and lean! I tasted it, and found it
well flavoured and delicious, then cut several large slices and put in
my pocket, where I found a crust of bread which I had brought from
Margate; took it out, and found three musket-balls that had been
lodged in it on Dover cliff. I extracted them, and cutting a few
slices more, made a hearty meal of bread and cold beef fruit. I then
cut down two of the largest that grew near me, and tying them together
with one of my garters, hung them over the eagle's neck for another
occasion, filling my pockets at the same time. While I was settling
these affairs I observed a large fruit like an inflated bladder, which
I wished to try an experiment upon: and striking my knife into one of
them, a fine pure liquor like Hollands gin rushed out, which the
eagles observing, eagerly drank up from the ground. I cut down the
bladder as fast as I could, and saved about half a pint in the bottom
of it, which I tasted, and could not distinguish it from the best
mountain wine. I drank it all, and found myself greatly refreshed. By
this time the eagles began to stagger against the shrubs. I
endeavoured to keep my seat, but was soon thrown to some distance
among the bushes. In attempting to rise I put my hand upon a large
hedgehog, which happened to lie among the grass upon its back: it
instantly closed round my hand, so that I found it impossible to shake
it off. I struck it several times against the ground without effect;
but while I was thus employed I heard a rustling among the shrubbery,
and looking up, I saw a huge animal within three yards of me; I could
make no defence, but held out both my hands, when it rushed upon me,
and seized that on which the hedgehog was fixed. My hand being soon
relieved, I ran to some distance, where I saw the creature suddenly
drop down and expire with the hedgehog in its throat. When the danger
was past I went to view the eagles, and found them lying on the grass
fast asleep, being intoxicated with the liquor they had drank. Indeed,
I found myself considerably elevated by it, and seeing everything
quiet, I began to search for some more, which I soon found; and having
cut down two large bladders, about a gallon each, I tied them
together, and hung them over the neck of the other eagle, and the two
smaller ones I tied with a cord round my own waist. Having secured a
good stock of provisions, and perceiving the eagles begin to recover,
I again took my seat. In half an hour they arose majestically from the
place, without taking the least notice of their incumbrance. Each
reassumed its former station; and directing their course to the
northward, they crossed the Gulf of Mexico, entered North America, and
steered directly for the Polar regions, which gave me the finest
opportunity of viewing this vast continent that can possibly be
imagined.
Before we entered the frigid zone the cold began to affect me; but
piercing one of my bladders, I took a draught, and found that it could
make no impression on me afterwards. Passing over Hudson's Bay, I saw
several of the Company's ships lying at anchor, and many tribes of
Indians marching with their furs to market.
By this time I was so reconciled to my seat, and become such an expert
rider, that I could sit up and look around me; but in general I lay
along the eagle's neck, grasping it in my arms, with my hands immersed
in its feathers, in order to keep them warm.
In those cold climates I observed that the eagles flew with greater
rapidity, in order, I suppose, to keep their blood in circulation. In
passing Baffin's Bay I saw several large Greenlandmen to the eastward,
and many surprising mountains of ice in those seas.
While I was surveying these wonders of nature it occurred to me that
this was a good opportunity to discover the north-west passage, if any
such thing existed, and not only obtain the reward offered by
government, but the honour of a discovery pregnant with so many
advantages to every European nation. But while my thoughts were
absorbed in this pleasing reverie I was alarmed by the first eagle
striking its head against a solid transparent substance, and in a
moment that which I rode experienced the same fate, and both fell down
seemingly dead.
Here our lives must inevitably have terminated, had not a sense of
danger, and the singularity of my situation, inspired me with a degree
of skill and dexterity which enabled us to fall near two miles
perpendicular with as little inconveniency as if we had been let down
with a rope: for no sooner did I perceive the eagles strike against a
frozen cloud, which is very common near the poles, than (they being
close together) I laid myself along the back of the foremost, and took
hold of its wings to keep them extended, at the same time stretching
out my legs behind to support the wings of the other. This had the
desired effect, and we descended very safe on a mountain of ice, which
I supposed to be about three miles above the level of the sea.
I dismounted, unloaded the eagles, opened one of the bladders, and
administered some of the liquor to each of them, without once
considering that the horrors of destruction seemed to have conspired
against me. The roaring of waves, crashing of ice, and the howling of
bears, conspired to form a scene the most awful and tremendous: but
notwithstanding this, my concern for the recovery of the eagles was so
great, that I was insensible of the danger to which I was exposed.
Having rendered them every assistance in my power, I stood over them
in painful anxiety, fully sensible that it was only by means of them
that I could possibly be delivered from these abodes of despair.
But suddenly a monstrous bear began to roar behind me, with a voice
like thunder. I turned round, and seeing the creature just ready to
devour me, having the bladder of liquor in my hands, through fear I
squeezed it so hard, that it burst, and the liquor flying in the eyes
of the animal, totally deprived it of sight. It instantly turned from
me, ran away in a state of distraction, and soon fell over a precipice
of ice into the sea, where I saw it no more.
The danger being over, I again turned my attention to the eagles, whom
I found in a fair way of recovery, and suspecting that they were faint
for want of victuals, I took one of the beef fruit, cut it into small
slices, and presented them with it, which they devoured with avidity.
Having given them plenty to eat and drink, and disposed of the
remainder of my provision, I took possession of my seat as before.
After composing myself, and adjusting everything in the best manner, I
began to eat and drink very heartily; and through the effects of the
mountain wine, as I called it, was very cheerful, and began to sing a
few verses of a song which I had learned when I was a boy: but the
noise soon alarmed the eagles, who had been asleep, through the
quantity of liquor which they had drank, and they rose seemingly much
terrified. Happily for me, however, when I was feeding them I had
accidentally turned their heads towards the south-east, which course
they pursued with a rapid motion. In a few hours I saw the Western
Isles, and soon after had the inexpressible pleasure of seeing Old
England. I took no notice of the seas or islands over which I passed.
The eagles descended gradually as they drew near the shore, intending,
as I supposed, to alight on one of the Welsh mountains; but when they
came to the distance of about sixty yards two guns were fired at them,
loaded with balls, one of which took place in a bladder of liquor that
hung to my waist; the other entered the breast of the foremost eagle,
who fell to the ground, while that which I rode, having received no
injury, flew away with amazing swiftness.
This circumstance alarmed me exceedingly, and I began to think it was
impossible for me to escape with my life; but recovering a little, I
once more looked down upon the earth, when, to my inexpressible joy, I
saw Margate at a little distance, and the eagle descending on the old
tower whence it had carried me on the morning of the day before. It no
sooner came down than I threw myself off, happy to find that I was
once more restored to the world. The eagle flew away in a few minutes,
and I sat down to compose my fluttering spirits, which I did in a few
hours.
I soon paid a visit to my friends, and related these adventures.
Amazement stood in every countenance; their congratulations on my
returning in safety were repeated with an unaffected degree of
pleasure, and we passed the evening as we are doing now, every person
present paying the highest compliments to my COURAGE and VERACITY.
THE SECOND VOLUME
PREFACE
TO THE SECOND VOLUME
Baron Munchausen has certainly been productive of much benefit to the
literary world; the numbers of egregious travellers have been such,
that they demanded a very Gulliver to surpass them. If Baron de Tott
dauntlessly discharged an enormous piece of artillery, the Baron
Munchausen has done more; he has taken it and swam with it across the
sea. When travellers are solicitous to be the heroes of their own
story, surely they must admit to superiority, and blush at seeing
themselves out-done by the renowned Munchausen: I doubt whether any
one hitherto, Pantagruel, Gargantua, Captain Lemuel, or De Tott, has
been able to out-do our Baron in this species of excellence: and as at
present our curiosity seems much directed to the interior of Africa,
it must be edifying to have the real relation of Munchausen's
adventures there before any further intelligence arrives; for he seems
to adapt himself and his exploits to the spirit of the times, and
recounts what he thinks should be most interesting to his auditors.
I do not say that the Baron, in the following stories, means a satire
on any political matters whatever. No; but if the reader understands
them so, I cannot help it.
If the Baron meets with a parcel of negro ships carrying whites into
slavery to work upon their plantations in a cold climate, should we
therefore imagine that he intends a reflection on the present traffic
in human flesh? And that, if the negroes should do so, it would be
simple justice, as retaliation is the law of God! If we were to think
this a reflection on any present commercial or political matter, we
should be tempted to imagine, perhaps, some political ideas conveyed
in every page, in every sentence of the whole. Whether such things are
or are not the intentions of the Baron the reader must judge.
We have had not only wonderful travellers in this vile world, but
splenetic travellers, and of these not a few, and also conspicuous
enough. It is a pity, therefore, that the Baron has not endeavoured to
surpass them also in this species of story-telling. Who is it can read
the travels of Smellfungus, as Sterne calls him, without admiration?
To think that a person from the North of Scotland should travel
through some of the finest countries in Europe, and find fault with
everything he meets--nothing to please him! And therefore, methinks,
the Tour to the Hebrides is more excusable, and also perhaps Mr.
Twiss's Tour in Ireland. Dr. Johnson, bred in the luxuriance of
London, with more reason should become cross and splenetic in the
bleak and dreary regions of the Hebrides.
The Baron, in the following work, seems to be sometimes philosophical;
his account of the language of the interior of Africa, and its analogy
with that of the inhabitants of the moon, show him to be profoundly
versed in the etymological antiquities of nations, and throw new light
upon the abstruse history of the ancient Scythians, and the
Collectanea.
His endeavour to abolish the custom of eating live flesh in the
interior of Africa, as described in Bruce's Travels, is truly humane.
But far be it from me to suppose, that by Gog and Magog and the Lord
Mayor's show he means a satire upon any person or body of persons
whatever: or, by a tedious litigated trial of blind judges and dumb
matrons following a wild goose chase all round the world, he should
glance at any trial whatever.
Nevertheless, I must allow that it was extremely presumptuous in
Munchausen to tell half the sovereigns of the world that they were
wrong, and advise them what they ought to do; and that instead of
ordering millions of their subjects to massacre one another, it would
be more to their interest to employ their forces in concert for the
general good; as if he knew better than the Empress of Russia, the
Grand Vizier, Prince Potemkin, or any other butcher in the world. But
that he should be a royal Aristocrat, and take the part of the injured
Queen of France in the present political drama, I am not at all
surprised; but I suppose his mind was fired by reading the pamphlet
written by Mr. Burke.
