CHAPTER XXI
All that I have related before, said the Baron, is gospel; and if
there be any one so hardy as to deny it, I am ready to fight him with
any weapon he pleases. Yes, cried he, in a more elevated tone, as he
started from his seat, I will condemn him to swallow this decanter,
glass and all perhaps, and filled with kerren-wasser [a kind of ardent
spirit distilled from cherries, and much used in some parts of
Germany]. Therefore, my dear friends and companions, have confidence
in what I say, and pay honour to the tales of Munchausen. A traveller
has a right to relate and embellish his adventures as he pleases, and
it is very unpolite to refuse that deference and applause they
deserve.
Having passed some time in England since the completion of my former
memoirs, I at length began to revolve in my mind what a prodigious
field of discovery must be in the interior part of Africa. I could not
sleep with the thoughts of it; I therefore determined to gain every
proper assistance from Government to penetrate the celebrated source
of the Nile, and assume the viceroyship of the interior kingdoms of
Africa, or, at least, the great realm of Monomotapa. It was happy for
me that I had one most powerful friend at court, whom I shall call the
illustrious Hilaro Frosticos. You perchance know him not by that name;
but we had a language among ourselves, as well we may, for in the
course of my peregrinations I have acquired precisely nine hundred and
ninety-nine leash of languages. What! gentlemen, do you stare? Well, I
allow there are not so many languages spoken in this vile world; but
then, have I not been in the moon? and trust me, whenever I write a
treatise upon education, I shall delineate methods of inculcating
whole dozens of languages at once, French, Spanish, Greek, Hebrew,
Cherokee, &c., in such a style as will shame all the pedagogues
existing.
Having passed a whole night without being able to sleep for the vivid
imagination of African discoveries, I hastened to the levee of my
illustrious friend Hilaro Frosticos, and having mentioned my intention
with all the vigour of fancy, he gravely considered my words, and
after some awful meditations thus he spoke: /Olough, ma genesat, istum
fullanah, cum dera kargos belgarasah eseum balgo bartigos
triangulissimus!/ However, added he, it behoveth thee to consider and
ponder well upon the perils and the multitudinous dangers in the way
of that wight who thus advanceth in all the perambulation of
adventures: and verily, most valiant sire and Baron, I hope thou wilt
demean thyself with all that laudable gravity and precaution which, as
is related in the three hundred and forty-seventh chapter of the
Prophilactics, is of more consideration than all the merit in this
terraqueous globe. Yes, most truly do I advise thee unto thy good, and
speak unto thee, most valiant Munchausen, with the greatest esteem,
and wish thee to succeed in thy voyage; for it is said, that in the
interior realms of Africa there are tribes that can see but just three
inches and a half beyond the extremity of their noses; and verily thou
shouldest moderate thyself, even sure and slow; they stumble who walk
fast. But we shall bring you unto the Lady Fragrantia, and have her
opinion of the matter. He then took from his pocket a cap of dignity,
such as described in the most honourable and antique heraldry, and
placing it upon my head, addressed me thus:--"As thou seemest again to
revive the spirit of ancient adventure, permit me to place upon thy
head this favour, as a mark of the esteem in which I hold thy valorous
disposition."
The Lady Fragrantia, my dear friends, was one of the most divine
creatures in all Great Britain, and was desperately in love with me.
She was drawing my portrait upon a piece of white satin, when the most
noble Hilaro Frosticos advanced. He pointed to the cap of dignity
which he had placed upon my head. "I do declare, Hilaro," said the
lovely Fragrantia, "'tis pretty, 'tis interesting; I love you, and I
like you, my dear Baron," said she, putting on another plume: "this
gives it an air more delicate and more fantastical. I do thus, my dear
Munchausen, as your friend, yet you can reject or accept my present
just as you please; but I like the fancy, 'tis a good one, and I mean
to improve it: and against whatever enemies you go, I shall have the
sweet satisfaction to remember you bear my favour on your head!"
I snatched it with trepidation, and gracefully dropping on my knees, I
three times kissed it with all the rapture of romantic love. "I
swear," cried I, "by thy bright eyes, and by the lovely whiteness of
thine arm, that no savage, tyrant, or enemy upon the face of the earth
shall despoil me of this favour, while one drop of the blood of the
Munchausens doth circulate in my veins! I will bear it triumphant
through the realms of Africa, whither I now intend my course, and make
it respected, even in the court of Prester John."
"I admire your spirit," replied she, "and shall use my utmost interest
at court to have you despatched with every pomp, and as soon as
possible; but here comes a most brilliant company indeed, Lady
Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs, Lord Spigot, and Lady Faucet, and
the Countess of Belleair."
After the ceremonies of introduction to this company were over, we
proceeded to consult upon the business; and as the cause met with
general applause, it was immediately determined that I should proceed
without delay, as soon as I obtained the sovereign approbation. "I am
convinced," said Lord Spigot, "that if there be any thing really
unknown and worthy of our most ardent curiosity, it must be in the
immense regions of Africa; that country, which seems to be the oldest
on the globe, and yet with the greater part of which we are almost
utterly unacquainted; what prodigious wealth of gold and diamonds must
not lie concealed in those torrid regions, when the very rivers on the
coast pour forth continual specimens of golden sand! 'Tis my opinion,
therefore, that the Baron deserves the applause of all Europe for his
spirit, and merits the most powerful assistance of the sovereign."
So flattering an approbation, you may be sure, was delightful to my
heart, and with every confidence and joy I suffered them to take me to
court that instant. After the usual ceremonies of introduction,
suffice it to say that I met with every honour and applause that my
most sanguine expectations could demand. I had always a taste for the
fashionable /je ne sais quoi/ of the most elegant society, and in the
presence of all the sovereigns of Europe I ever found myself quite at
home, and experienced from the whole court the most flattering esteem
and admiration. I remember, one particular day, the fate of the
unfortunate Marquis de Bellecourt. The Countess of Rassinda, who
accompanied him, looked most divinely. "Yes, I am confident," said the
Marquis de Bellecourt to me, "that I have acted according to the
strictest sentiments of justice and of loyalty to my sovereign. What
stronger breast-plate than a heart untainted? and though I did not
receive a word nor a look, yet I cannot think--no, it were impossible
to be misrepresented. Conscious of my own integrity, I will try again
--I will go boldly up." The Marquis de Bellecourt saw the opportunity;
he advanced three paces, put his hand upon his breast and bowed.
"Permit me," said he, "with the most profound respect, to----." His
tongue faltered--he could scarcely believe his sight, for at that
moment the whole company were moving out of the room. He found himself
almost alone, deserted by every one. "What!" said he, "and did he turn
upon his heel with the most marked contempt? Would he not speak to me?
Would he not even hear me utter a word in my defence?" His heart died
within him--not even a look, a smile from any one. "My friends! Do
they not know me? Do they not see me? Alas! they fear to catch the
contagion of my----. Then," said he, "adieu!--'tis more than I can
bear. I shall go to my country seat, and never, never will return.
Adieu, fond court, adieu!--"
The venerable Marquis de Bellecourt stopped for a moment ere he
entered his carriage. Thrice he looked back, and thrice he wiped the
starting tear from his eye. "Yes," said he, "for once, at least, truth
shall be found--in the bottom of a well!"
Peace to thy ghost, most noble marquis! a King of kings shall pity
thee; and thousands who are yet unborn shall owe their happiness to
thee, and have cause to bless the thousands, perhaps, that shall never
even know thy name; but Munchausen's self shall celebrate thy glory!
